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Natbat in Sepia
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Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in Nat's LiveJournal:

Sunday, April 25th, 2010
10:37 pm
Better than it Sounds meme
Nicked from idioticonion...

Pick twenty artistic works that you like and put their summaries from Better Than It Sounds and WITHOUT CHEATING have your friends guess.

My favourite thingsCollapse )
Wednesday, August 19th, 2009
8:43 pm
Long, rambling post. Sorry.

Hi. This is going to be an incredibly long, self-indulgent entry. For this I apologise. I just really need to get it all written down to try and help get things straight in my head. Feel free to give any advice you feel you can (it would be much appreciated), but I’m really not writing this out to try and get sympathy or help. I just literally need to write it all down. I’m going to keep it an open entry so Rob can view it if he wants to. I don’t want to keep anything from him about the way I’ve been handling the break-up.



Emo nonsense...Collapse )



Wow. I’m so sorry to go on for so long. Well done if you read this far, and thank you for indulging me. Writing stuff out in some sort of logical order really does help. I feel better already. I just need to go and digest it all, I think.

Also, just re-reading all this back, it sounds like I'm actually doing worse than I am. I should say that I only feel like this half the time. I started writing this at 6pm, and I felt like shit. It's now 8:45 and I feel quite chipper. Randomness.

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009
11:33 pm
Well, I know I'm mightily late in posting this (I blame new jobs and trips to France), but the recent Torchwood miniseries was SO GOOD it inspired me to write some fanfic for the first time in god knows how long. Have a read. Feel free to comment. And Tara, I totally nicked your header and amended it, because it's been so long since I've written anything I forgot what to include!


Title: A Happy Ending?
Summary: Read it and see!
Fandom/Pairing: Torchwood, Ianto/Jack
Genre: Angst. Lots of sadness. You may need tissues.
Word Count: 599



With this job, stress wasn't the only thing that could affect your occupational health.Collapse )

PS: Could someone tell me if the cut worked, coz it's the first time I've used it and it doesn't appear to show up on the preview. Stoopid.

Wednesday, May 13th, 2009
3:40 pm
A meme and a letter to myself...

I'm really sorry, I don't know how to do cuts, so this entry is going to come up really LOOONNG on people's flists. Ah well, sod it.

First, have a meme:

1. Name - Natbat. I mean, Natalie
2. Age - 26
3. Hair color - Brown (with a few evil strands of grey)
4. Eye color - Blue
5. Glasses or contacts - Contacts
6. Languages you speak - English, and a small amount of whatever French I can remember.
7. Located in - London
8. Job - TfL London Buses Customer Service
9. Smoke? - No
10. Drink? - No
11. Drugs? - Nope
12. Where you born naturally or cesarean? - I think  it was natural. But then, it was only two years ago that Mum told me I was a special child and she had to have an operation to conceive me, so there could easily be other stuff she hasn't told me!
13. Do you have any kids? - No
14. Big Family or small family? - Small
15. Countries you've been to? - Oh Christ, far too many! Right... England, Wales, Scotland, France, Spain, Portugal, Morocco, Gilbralta, Malta, Corsica, Greece, USA, Australia, Singapore, Hong Kong (those last two were just the airports, if those count?!), Bahamas... hmm. I think that's everything. Oh, Italy!! There's probably someplace else really obvious that I've missed out...
16. If you could have 1 wish come true, what would it be? That's really hard... probably, the ability to put my hand in my pocket and draw out however much money I need/want at any time.

(Have You Ever)
17. Been arrested? - No.
18. Been a suspect? - No.
19. Broke into a car? - No
20. Been shot at? - No (Naff, when the hell were you shot at?!)
21. Stolen something? - Some money from my dad to buy a twix when I was 12. I got grounded for a month. Never did anything like that again. Oh, apart from the odd bits of stationery from work. But that's what it's there for, right?
22. Got caught stealing? - Only by my dad!
23. Threw up in a car? - Yeah, when I was a kid. It stank for ages.
24. Almost die? - Erm... the time I nearly drowned in Cornwall when I was 7, I guess.
25. Wanted to die? -No
26. Been hospitilized? - Yes, to have my tonsils out when I was 4.
27. Had surgery? Having my tonsils out when I was 4!
28. Been in an earthquake? - No
29. Gave money to a homless person? - Yes
30. Been in a mosh pit? - Yes.
31. Sworn at a teacher? - No. But I *did* shout very loudly so that Mr Mason would overhear, "I HAVE SEX 8 TIMES A DAY." I have no idea if he he heard or not.


32. Do you love someone? - Yes.
33. If your BF/GF cheated on you and was truly sorry, would you stay with them? Don't think I can really answer that until the situation actually happened. Not that it would. But I'm leaning towards yes.
34. Ever had a crush on a teacher? - Does Richard Walker count?!
35. Ever been on a blind date? - Hell no.
36. Ever had phone sex? - No
37. Cybersex? - Erm, not properly.
38. Dated someone out of pity? - Heh, no!

(Special Topics)
39. Pro or anti abortion? - Kind of mixed views, but if I was forced to choose one way or the other, it would be pro.
40. Is the death penalty wrong? Of course.
41. Prayer in school? - Junior school, yes. Not senior school.
42. Does the Universe end? - I bloody well hope not.
43. Do you believe in:
a) God - No
b) Satan - No (although he's great for stories)
c) Heaven - No
d) Hell - No
e) Angels - No
g) Ghosts - Stupidly enough, given my answers to all the above, yes!
h) Psychics - As in, evil people who claim psychic abilities and then pray on the vulnerable? Yes. True psychic abilities? No.
i) Reincarnation - Yes. Yes, you read that correctly. I believe in ghosts *and* reincarnation.
j) Souls - Yes. I think that the soul gets reincarnated, and your energy comes back as ghosts.
k) More than 1 God - No.
l) Jesus - There was a man named Jesus who did some things. He was the Son of a young woman (the same word for young woman also means virgin in the language of the time...) but thats it. <-- Stealing Naff's answer for this one. I'm (still) reading the New Testament, and I've basically come to the conclusion that someone happened across a rather jolly story thousands of years after it was written and laid all this interpretation onto it... and thus Christianity was born!
m) Witchcraft - Makes more sense than Christianity! But seriously? No.
n) Is 2Pac alive? - No. No matter what Ross says.
o) Things happen in three - Things happen in any number you wish to count.

(Would you want to)
44. Know time and way of your death (but unchangeable) - I do know, the Death Clock told me, but I can't remember it. But i'm gonna be in my 70s, I know that, so I'm safe for a few years ;-p
45. Have X-ray vision - Hmm, don't really think so. Maybe vision that would allow you to see through certain layers of things at will (ahem), but not real and actual x-ray vision, coz then all you'd see is bones all the time. Very boring.
46. Be famous - Yes. Princess Pickle Bum will rule the world one day.
47. Read others mind whenever you wanted - Oh *GOD* yes, that would save so many dilemmas...
48. Travel back in time and to what moment - I'd love to be able to travel back in time, but it depends how. I mean, if I literally went back on my own timeline and had the ability to do it all again, but with the memories and knowledge I have now, that would be *amazing*, and I'd basically go back to the start! Imagine being a five year-old with the mind of a 26 year-old?! If I was travelling back as an observer, though, like in Doctor Who, that would also  be cool, but I wouldn't go back to anything in my life. Instead, I'd do something amazing like go to one of the really early Cure concerts, or Bowie or Queen or someting... all the great music I missed out on in the 80s! And maybe go back to the Comedy Store at the birth of the alternative movement. Even seeing Newman and Baddiel at Wembley would be quite cool, even if Punt and Dennis were always better!
49. Kill someone you hate if you would never get caught -  I don't think I feel passionately enough about it any more. Now, if it was combined with going back on my personal timeline and killing someone, then I'd be seriously tempted...
50. Answer more stupid questions? - LOL, I think you've had enough now...

Right. Second part of this post is basically nicked from Margs. Stephen Fry wrote an amazing piece in the Guardian recently which was a letter to himself at 16 (http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/apr/30/stephen-fry-letter-gay-rights). Loads of people have responded by doing the same thing for their 16 year-old self. Try it. It's amazing therapy. Here's mine:

Dear me at 16,

Firstly, I want to say that on the whole you've got it right. The place you're in now *is* the best time of your life, and will be for the next two years. You will become more yourself than you ever have been, or ever will be again. You will laugh so much, and love your friends with all your heart, for they are the best you will ever have. They shape you as a person and make you crave your individuality. You are you because of those around you. Those that matter are still around in 2009. Never underestimate the power of friendship. You will cry like a baby on the last day of school, and you've every right to.... without meaning to sound too melodramatic, but what with paying bills and working for a living, it's all downhill from there.  

Keep going the way you are with your schoolwork. A-Levels will seem much easier to you than GCSEs (this is helped along nicely by a generous dollop of well-timed League of Gentlemen fandom). You'll get excellent results and will narrowly escape having a very embarrassing picture of yourself in the local paper. Maybe don't bother doing maths though... a year of extra work and quivering in terror at the hands of Mrs Hall really isn't worth the extra half an A-Level.

Just a few things you should know about where you are now.

1) Your parents are far prouder of you than you realise.

2) I'm sorry, I know this is going to break your heart, but I owe it to you to tell you... Ronan Keating? Is a BASTARD. All that stuff about taking "a year off to focus on solo careers"? Bollocks. Boyzone do, however, do a reunion tour in 2008 which you will go to with Marie, and you will laugh, squee and cry. But it will never be *quite* the same.

3) Yes, you *do* have OCD. But that's OK. It's part of who you are.

Right. On to some guidance for the future, in what, I hope, is a vaguely chronological order:

1) When Linda promises you that you'll catch the last train back from clubbing at Camden Palace, DON'T BELIEVE HER. You'll end up sleeping on a stranger's lounge floor with only Phil for protection, or at Liverpool Street Station with Laura Newton outside the cake shop (yes, you fall for it *twice*, you dumbass).

2) When you have that argument with Fee next year, and you have that awesome party a few days later, LET HER IN when she rings the doorbell. You'll feel ridiculously guilty about it for years afterwards if you don't, even if Fee herself will forget about it totally.

3) You'll absolutely hate your course at uni, and spend most of the time wishing you could be somewhere else. Especially when you realise your A-Level results could have got you into Cambridge. But, you have a fantastic time creatively- you will never write so much again, believing you are not fulfilling your full potential in your course. Your relationship with Fee will be amazing and you'll never be closer. So don't change your decision to go to Preston. Although, perhaps you could try to be a bit nicer to your parents on your graduation day.

4) Learn to cook sooner. It's not all that difficult, and you'll feel much better because of it.

5) This time next year, you will meet an AMAZING bunch of people on the Internet. In 2003, don't be tempted to get involved in an argument with them over something that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with you. You'll regret the year you don't speak to them otherwise.

6) You probably don't care about this yet, but Doctor Who comes back in 2005. This gets announced in 2003. When you hear the news, don't think twice about going to spend some of your precious student loan on that novelisation by Mark Gatiss's ex-boyfriend from that sci-fi shop in Preston to celebrate. The dude behind the counter will be so excited when you tell him the news that he'll give you the book free of charge. Run out of the shop before he changes his mind.

7) Don't move in with that fat bint you'll meet on the Internet. She'll ruin your life, and you'll almost lose your best friend because of it.

8) If you pay no heed to the above advice, then there'll be a day when your doctor will prescribe you anti-depressants. There's no need to spend all day agonizing over whether to take them or not. Make the right decision straight away and chuck them in the bin. You don't need them. You'll move out and move on.

9) You don't lose your virginity until you're 22. So you may as well choose some other New Year's Resolutions for years 2000- 2004.

10) You *will* get published eventually. If you're not so much of a lazy writer, you may even be able to set your sights higher than Cult Times, some comedy websites and a self-published anthology!

11) Make the most of your job at Clearstone. The company will go bust after two and a half years, and your next job won't be half as enjoyable.

12) You'll end up with a man that thinks the world of you, and would do anything for you. Try not to be so hard on him sometimes.

One lesson you still have to learn is that your life is totally, utterly and completely your own. Don't ever make sacrafices for anyone else. In the end, bleak as it may sound, you are the only person you can truly rely on. If you want something, screw everyone else, and go get it.

So, to conclude. You are a fantastic, intelligent, pro-active person who is well-loved and has amazing friends. You are totally at ease with your identity. You are confident where it matters, and eager to try out new things. You are fabulous, darling. But you knew that already, right?


Me at 26.
Sunday, January 25th, 2009
3:56 pm
Political correctness gone mad!
red_scully wrote an LJ entry here: http://red-scully.livejournal.com/166791.html that I tried to respond to, but I went over the character limit, and LJ told me to shorten it! I don't want to shorten it. So here's my response (her LJ is friends-locked, so basically she was remonstrating the fact that Jonathan Ross is now in trouble for making a joke about having sex with a Spanish woman, and the backlash about the Humanist Society ads on the buses and tubes):

I am completely and utterly with you. Politically correct censorship is a beast that rears its ugly head every now and then in the comedy world, for example the "Incitement to Religious Hatred" act that Rowan Atkinson spoke out about http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/4664820.stm and also around that time the whole business with Jerry Springer the Opera. I saw how the latter personally affected Stewart Lee. As a direct result of the controversy over JSTO, he has now become a very paranoid performer, and he has very little faith in his material any more. So much more so than he used to be, and that's such a sad, sad thing, because his material is as strong as ever. For example, when he was on stage with Rich at the latest TMWRNJ reunion thing, Rich clearly wanted to do a rude/offensive joke that they'd rehearsed, but Stew had cottoned on to the fact that people were recording it, and would *not* join in, point blank. In fact, his line was, "come on, Rich, this will end up on YouTube, let's move on." This is not a Stew we would have seen pre-JSTO.

There are several important points about censorship and political correctness, particularly with regard to JSTO. Firstly, the vast majority of people that rang to complain about it HAD NOT SEEN IT. This was also the case with the Brass Eye Paedophilia episode. I'm all for having a system whereby people should express their views on a particular programme (after all, you need one, due to the unique way the BBC etc), however, in my opinion, people shouldn't be allowed to complain from a position of ignorance. How can they complain if they don't know what they're complaining about? Like, "How can you make Jesus wear a nappy?" ANSWER: HE DIDN'T. And, "look, it's glamourising paedophilia." NO. NO, IT'S REALLY NOT. But then the regulators are stuck between a rock and a hard place, because who are they to say whether someone really has seen the thing they're complaining about? Their job is to take down the complaint and add it to the pile and provide a horrendous misrepresentation about how much a programme is enjoyed or not enjoyed by the viewing public.

I see this all the time with my job. Completely ignorant customers complaining about something they know nothing about, and something that would benefit another section of society hugely. Let's say iBus, the announcements on the bus to tell you what your next stop is, for example. Because we've had x number of people phone up and tell us it's irritating, loud, repetitive and unnecessary, does this mean we should take it away? Does this mean that the huge benefits it brings to partially-sighted people, tourists and infrequent route users should just be dismissed because of a vocal minority? Of course not, but we're a public service funded by taxpayers. Therefore, their views are important to us, and we need to register them. But how many partially-sighted people, tourists and infrequent route users do we get phoning to thank us for introducing iBus and letting us know how much of a benefit it is to them? Very few, of course, because, well, why would you bother? It's a very British thing to make a noise when you're upset about something, but keep well and truly quiet if you're happy with your lot. So, as a result of this imbalance, TfL has to trust that we know we're doing what's right for our users. We carry out systematic research into the benefits and the drawbacks, we conduct opinion surveys, we look into being compliant with the Disability Discrimination Act and making our transport as accessible to as many different types of people as possible. No matter how many complaints we get to the contrary, we are not going to change this. And the same *should* be true in broadcasting. If you enjoy a show, you're not going to phone offcom and let them know, are you? Just because of a few ignorant twats spoiling it for the rest of us, what the public has to realise is that broadcasters, producers, directors, TV execs etc know what they are doing. They've been doing it for years. Let them carry on. If the notion of political correctness had been around in the 70s, Monty Python's Life of Brian would have been scrapped at the planning stages. A film which is consistently voted the funniest film of all time. THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING.

Secondly, the organisation that led the outcry over JSTO was Christian Voice. You know what I was saying about ignorance? I was bored at work on Friday, so a colleague and I were looking at their website and amusing ourselves. This is the organisation that spent time, effort and money writing to various Police Forces up and down the country after their members were allowed to march in local Gay Pride marches in their uniforms, asking their opinions on Gay Pride/gay rights, complaining that they were allowed to march in uniforms and strongly urging them to stop employing homosexuals, and then publishing all their replies on their website. The replies are, naturally, refreshing, sane, and in many instances hilarious.

Here's what the Lincolnshire police said:
"None of my officers sought my permission to wear uniform on the march although had they, I would have agreed to it.
"Much of what you say in the judgements and assumptions you make emanate from a view of the world that I neither understand, share or find palatable into today's world, although fully defend (whilst it remains legal) your right to express such views. As my views are so far from yours I am unable to reply to most of your questions in detail because I reject the basis upon which you ask them or the astonishing leap of logic they contain.
"By way of a general answer which will give you a flavour of where am coming from, I can say that as distressing as you may find it, by no means everybody (inside or outside the police service) considers that if you are gay you are a 'pervert' and not everyone is Christian or even recognises the existence of God. The police service needs to and does recognise the validity of diverse approaches to life and must recognise them without making damning judgements. In doing their job considerations as to sexuality, race and gender (whether straight, gay or transsexual) or any other physical characteristic or legal approach to lifestyle are an irrelevance.
"As an Assistant Chief Constable in Sussex Police when it was the first force in the country to advertise in 'The Pink Paper' for recruits, I am proud to have helped increase the recruitment of gay people into the service and welcome applications from anyone suitably qualified (including gay officers ) into this Force.
"I hope my reply makes it very clear to you what my approach and that of Lincolnshire Police is to this issue." (11 July 2003) Mr Richard Childs, Chief Constable, Lincolnshire Police

And the North Wales police response is brilliant:
"I refer to your letters of 8 July and 13 September.
"Owing to the unreasonable, inaccurate, and abusive nature of your letters,  am afraid I am unable to provide you with a comprehensive response.
"Your voice is not Christian." (18 September 2003)
Clive Wofendale, Assistant Chief Constable for Mr Richard Brunstrom, Chief Constable, North Wales Police

A full list can be seen here: http://www.christianvoice.org.uk/police.html

All fine, but it leads me to think: why have Christian Voice decided to put these responses, that clearly ridicule their endeavours, on their own website? Do they honestly believe that somehow the police spokespeople that responded are hoisting themselves by their own petard? Do they think that people are going to read it and laugh? Because, really, it is completely the other way round. And what's scary is that organisations like that have so much power behind such misguided ideas. Yes, it's laughable, but really, if you sit down and think about the things they may be able to do with just a little support from some similarly misguided people, it's genuinely quite frightening.

Ahem. Sorry, I realise I'm totally preaching to the converted, but this is something that I'm quite passionate about and am very interested in. So, who's for starting an anti-censorship campaign in the UK media, then?
Sunday, January 4th, 2009
7:09 pm
I'm doing this because it will help create a thesaurus in my brain...
Starting from A and working your way down/up to Z list your character attributes:

God, I'm stuck already! Erm...

Aimiable- most of the time, I hope.
Bored- I get bored very easily, not in a day-to-day sense, but in a lifestyle sense.
Clever- at least, I like to think so.
Dependable- same as "R", really, but I'm running out of ideas. And I didn't write this in order.
Eloquent- ha! I'm liking this, I just get to write nice things about myself that clearly aren't true.
Fashionless- I invented a new word. And that one *is* true.
Godless- i.e. aethiest. Or however you spell it.
Happy- most of the time.
Independent- I keep having discussions with my nan as to why she wants me to get married (so I've got someone to look after me) and why I *don't* want to get married (because I don't need anyone to look after me).
Jealous- I do get quite jealous, which is clearly a bad thing.
Kind- again, most of the time.
Loyal- I guess.
Mature- that's what people kept telling me when I was a teenager, so I'm hoping it's still true.
Natbat!! The most important trait in the world.
OCD- Is that an attribute?!
Positive- too much, actually. I'm too optimistic for my own good.
Quiet- not overly so, but I'm not exactly outgoing.
Reliable- this is what I put on all my job applications.
Selfish- very much so.
Tenacious- when I want something, I will find out as many different ways to get it as possible.
Unflappable- I tend to stay calm in a crisis
Versatile- after all, I married Phil!!
Weak- physically, not mentally.
X-Files lover?! Come on, I'm grasping at straws now...
Youthful- cimpared to people older than me.
Zoological- I think this means I like animals.

Christ, that was hard...
Monday, October 20th, 2008
5:16 pm
Guess what? A meme...

This one's nicked from bigeggy.

I have used "Natbat" where something actually came up, and "Natalie" for everything else. Disturbingly, a lot of the "Natbat" results were actually about me. I am pleased to be unique.

Q1: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.

Seeing if natbat needs any help wrangling markup, CSS or JavaScript but she's got everything under control.

Q2: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.

Natbat our flat looks like an explosion in a post-it note factory and Simon is snacking on baking powder about 6 hours ago ...

Q3: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.

natbat says "Can we stop looking at them now? They are pretty adorable, but also some of them are being eaten."

Q4: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.

It's simply that she has her own way of doing things - if Natalie wants to go one way, Naughtily wants to go another

Q5: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.

look forward to seeing a few of u someone should bring a camera and i vote natbat does

Q6: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.

hey whats up nottin much her exept i am sure natalie hates me now because i broke up with her and she thinks that it is because of lindsey or christina but ...

Q7: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.

Natalie Asks a Few Questions

Q8: Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search.

Natalie Goes to Japan

Q9: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.

1.   Videos natbat likes on Vimeo

Q10: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.

Simon eats the prawn by NatBat


Q11: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.

Natbat wears it well.

Q12: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.

Natalie was arrested for helping Paul escape

Number 3 made me laugh the most.
Tuesday, August 19th, 2008
2:28 pm
Naff's quiz!
This is an email quiz that bigeggy composed in 2000. I am answering it now in the hope that I will get some sort of prize.

Ok guys, I am sick and fed up with the billions of stupid 'friendship surveys' I do. The questions are menial, loathsome, boring and down right stupid. So here now, for you, are some REAL questions. I know a lot about my friends and I can honestly say that I cannot wait to see what everyone's answer is to each and every one of these questions. I warn you though this may provoke thought, and WILL take you some time!

1) We start with an unoriginal question, what's the time and date?:

12:18, 19th August, 2008.

3) Tell the recicipent something they don't know about you (If you have multiple recicipents than you may need multiple answers, this is allowed, you can do things like that. I mean come on this is just a silly email, it's not a bloody exam, use
ur imagination people!):

Erm… I have OCD and regularly write lists of tasks I have to do, and choose the order I perform them in using a complicated series of “choosing rhymes”, along the lines of “Ip Dip Sky Blue” (remember that?)! You see why no-one knows that about me?!

4) Your desert island discs? (For those uninformed this means what 3 C.D.s/Tapes/Vinyl etc would you take with you to a desert

I believe I contested this question when it was originally proposed back in 2000, coz in DID you are allowed 8 songs. So ner. However, I will assume we are talking albums here, which works out at more than 8 songs, so I shall say: Want One, Rufus Wainwright, Ta Dah, Scissor Sisters and Where We Belong, Boyzone (on the basis that nostalgia may be more important on a desert island than good music).

5) Your desert island films/videos/D.V.Ds/beta max? (If you can't work out what this means with the help of the above question then...well you're thick!):

Three again, right? Withnail and I, Velvet Goldmine, Queen of the Damned (for the sexiness…)

6) And desert island books? (And don't say 'survival book' etc, if you could only read three books for the rest of your life what would they be?):

Again, on DID you get the Bible and the Complete Works of Shakespeare, so I am going to assume I already have those. So, the Gormenghast trilogy by Mervyn Peake (I have them all in one volume so it only counts as one), Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z Bright, and possibly Never Trust a Rabbit by Jeremy Dyson.

9) What was the last thing you threw in the bin?:

Hmmm. Probably the plastic stirrer for my tea (no, TfL do NOT care about the environment ;-p)

10) Who was the last erotic thought you had about?:

Stuart Townsend because I typed Queen of the Damned earlier. Before that, Sammy J (oh so cute but oh so wrong, he’s too young…)

11) What would you most like to smother your partner in and then lick off?


12) What was the last dream you had?:

I keep dreaming that I’ve got more cats, and Pixel and Yorkie always get on exceptionally well with them. I think this is a deep-seated wish that my cats were well behaved.

13) Favourite Comedian?:

Well, my Sammy J obsession is strong at the moment, so I’ll say him! But there are loads. And I’m biased, coz I know most of them. Robin Ince always has me in stitches. The League of Gents, obviously. Tim Vine for pure genius punnery. Simon Munnery, because it rhymes with punnery. Far too many.

14) Favorite character in any film, book, T.V. show etc?:

Fuchsia from Gormenghast, because I really strongly identify with her. Also, Eponine from Les Miserables for similar reasons.

15) Favourite household appliance?:

The microwave. Dinner in two minutes? Genius. I am currently annoyed with my washing machine, because I overloaded it the other day and it shuddered to a halt having distributed dirt ALL OVER the clothes. You expect the clothes that come out of the washing machine to be cleaner than when they went in.

16) What would you entitle your auto-biography?:

Natbat in Sepia. NOT Princess Pickle Bum.

17) What is the first word you can think of?:


18) (This question has no affiliation with any of the previous questions, it stands by itself) Why?:

There was an explosion many years ago…

19) No seriously why?:

A BIG explosion.

20)  What is the meaning of life?:

The explosion I mentioned.

23) Favourite sequel?:

I instantly thought of books when I read this, so I’ll say Gormenghast. If we’re talking films… Aliens or Alien3.

24) If you could appear on any quiz show what would it be?:

Gotta be QI
ß Agree with that. Or Never Mind the Buzzcocks. But both of those would require me to be funny, which I don’t think I would be.

25) If you could appear on any talkshow what would it be?:

Hmmm. The notion of talk shows don’t really sit with me, to be honest. I’d have to pick someone who’s a good interviewer. At the moment, I can’t think of any. I know, the Micallef Programme! I’d have to play a fictional character, due to it being a comedy and made up n’all, but it would be fun.

26) Sexiest clothing for the opposite sex?:

Hmm. I like a jeans and blazer combo. Or full Victorian get-up. Overall, not too bothered what they wear, as long as they’re cute.

27) Worst job ever?:

The Turkish Hygiene Centre, where I worked for a grand total of three days. Was *awful*.

28) Best job ever?:

Clearstone was brilliant. This one’s not bad either.

29) If all is not lost, where is it?:

Probably under the fridge or under the sofa, where the cats have knocked it.

30) Have you got a tissue?:

No, sorry.

31) Why do bad things happen to good people?:

It’s proof if any were needed of the non-existence of God.

32) Where shall I stick it?:

On the wall. Create a collage out of it.

34) What is your favourite non-erotic fantasy?:

A nice long summer holiday in the hot sun doing absolutely nothing for weeks on end.

36) What is your favourite place to be naked?:

The bath. I don’t tend toward nudity elsewhere, you’ll be pleased to know.

37) If you were a monkey, lost in
New York, where would you be?:

Wherever there’s bananas. Or trees. There are trees in
Central Park. So probably there. If there’s somewhere with trees *and* bananas, that will just be fantastic.

38) What is your favourite painting?:

Titian’s Allegory of Prudence.

39) Favourite piece of classical music?:

A nice bit of Rach 3. Or Pachalbel’s Canon.

40) Favourite sculpture?:

Ooh, not sure. There was a nice one of a minotaur at an exhibition I went to with Debs quite a while ago. By some modern artist, I’m afraid, so I can’t remember his name.

41) Favourite artist? (As in a painter or sculpture, not a muscian etc.)

Dali, Titian.

42) What is the first swear word you can think of?:


43) What historical event would you most like to see?:

Ooooh… by historical, can it be 1980s music gigs? I would love to have seen the Cure or
Bowie in their early days. Or go to a Shakespeare play, or one of Oscar Wilde’s where he introduced it.

44) What historical event would you most like to stop?:

The holocaust.

45) What historical event do you wish you were a part of and helped initiate?:

Hmmm, not sure. Live Aid!! Or I could be deeper and say the anti-apartheid movement.

47) What song would you most like to have written?:

One that makes loads of money. Total Eclipse of the Heart, for pure cheese value!! Any of Ben Folds’ or Rufus’ songs which are just amazing, I’d like to have been able to make piano arrangements like that.

48) What book would you have most liked to have written?:

I think Poppy Z Bright’s writing style is fantastic; the storylines, characterisation and language is always beautiful. I always think about her style when I write. Any of her books, particularly Exquisite Corpse and Drawing Blood would have been delightful to have written.

49) What film would you have most liked to have directed?:

If. It’s amazing.

50) What game would you have most liked to develop?:

gotta be tetris.
ß Agree with you there! Or Mr and Mrs Nude Universe ;-p

51) When did you last fart or burp?:

I’ve just had lunch, so probably burped just now. I don’t really commit them to memory, I’m afraid.

52) Was it audible and/or smelly?:


53) What would you most like to buy right now?:

A new house? A cleaner. Although you don’t really *buy* cleaners so much as hire them.

54) What's your favourite charity?:

I’m not really a charity person. Have donated to World Vision before, and that local one in
Stratford which I forget the name of which I raised money from the marathon for. Christ, that sentence is convoluted.

55) Who IS the man?:

John Humphreys. Yeah, get them with your delving questions, Humphreys!! Make them squirm.  He da man.

68) What party trick would you most like to be able to do?:

Proper juggling, or any sort of circus trick. But not tricks that involve sticking knives down your throat or anything like that.

76) Who is the most inspirational teacher at school, college or university that you've had?:

Ms Lawton, for being the first person to tell me I could write, and giving me 100% in my creative writing A-Level coursework, and just generally being great for the five years she taught me. Also, Beev (Mr Beevor) for teaching chemistry in such a way that means I can still remember most of it now, 10 years on. Including the first 20 elements of the periodic table. Oh yes.

77) What do you do when you have an itch in an embarrassing place?

Try and scratch it subtly.

78) Name one heroic thing you have done:

Christ, that’s a really hard thing to answer. I hope just being there in general for my friends when they’ve needed me, e.g. letting Marie stay for a while when she needed it. Amongst other things. But that’s hardly heroic, more just human.

79) Name one wimpish thing that you have done:

Plenty! Whimped out of running the marathon. But actually that was probably the right decision, because although I used my injury as an excuse, it was still pretty damn painful when I tried to run again a few weeks after the marathon.

80) If you could resurrect one person who would it be?:

Spike Milligan.

82) What are you most proud of about yourself?:

My independence, I guess, and the fact that I have no desire whatsoever to do what people expect of me. I don’t follow the crowd, I follow my own instinct, and it baffles me when people feel the need to conform.

84) What habit/hobby/activity would you find hardest to give up?:

Radio 4!

85) What one super power would you most like?:

Invisibility. Think of the people you could stalk and the places you could go without paying…

87) What is your favourite appendage?:

Well, clearly not my nose!! Probably my wonky hair, or my two feet of thigh.

88) What sexual position/act are you least likely to try?:

ß LMAO!! Probably wouldn’t do a threesome. Dunno though, I’m pretty open-minded…

91) What's the un-coolest thing that you've said when trying to sound good?:

Hmmm, pretty much my entire radio appearance on Serious About Comedy was a complete and utter disaster.

95) What would it take for you to do a full frontal in a film?:

I don’t think I would.

97) When was the last time you went commando?:

Erm… after I’d had a bath and wanted to go out to buy a TV guide a few months ago. I couldn’t see the point of putting pants on.

98) Random word association. Randomly, here are some completely random words randomly plucked completely randomly from my random-thought-filled-brain, in a random fashion. Just type the first random thing you think of next to the completely random words, and be honest and random!

Italy: Pasta
Mousemat: Catmat
Speedo's: David
Boobies: Birds
Bosoms: Two fat ladies
Busts: Balloons
Tits: Titanium
Jugs: Porcelain
Coconuts: Yum
Melons: Yuk
Topless Ladies: Oh no
Temptation: Ronan!!
Excitement: Ronan!!
Reveal: Mr and Mrs nude universe
ß HAHAHA! Respond.
Exposure: Photography
Disgust: French
Police Department: Law
Jail Cell: Excel
Big Bugger Dave Your 7 Foot 20 Stone Cell Mate: Lives with his mum

99) And what is the time now?:


CONGRATULATIONS!!!! You have successfuly survived the rigorous, demanding but downright wonderful experience of my questionnaire. Now send this to the people you know, and they will know you better than you ever wanted them to!

If you send this to 1-3 people then those people will wonder why you sent it to them and no-one else, they will come up with hypothosis after hypothosis, eventually concluding one of the following:
a) They are special, as only they are selected to read this intimate portrayal. They will feel honoured and loved.
b) They are the only ones that you care little enough of to send them another annoying questionnaire. They will cease to be your friend.
c) You have no other friends.

If you send this to all your friends than maybe they will like you just that little bit more for sharing things with them. Or they could be disgusted and horrified at the you they've now come to see and will never talk to you again.

If you send this to 3000 people in the next 5 seconds than, well you're pretty damn clever and I applaud you.

Copyright Nafferton Road/Rise  Productions inc. co. ltd. plc. mbe. n'sync. idst.

Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
11:29 am
A meme I don't think I was supposed to do.
Nicked from FK...

01. How has LJ changed your life?
It hasn't, really. I suppose it's easier to keep up to date with my friends' lives.

02. What do you do before bedtime?
Read books or magazines, play the DS, write my journal.

03. What are you going to have for dinner tonight?
Sausages and mash pls thx.

04. What is the ONE place you want to go before you die if you had the money and the time?
It was Australia, but I've done that now. I've always quite fancied Venice. Or Dublin. Or Whitby. There's really no excuse not to go to Dublin or Whitby, now, is there?!

05.What scares you?

06. What do you do in your free time?
Chores! Clean the house. Ironing. Practice piano. Watch telly and DVDs. Go on t'internet.

07. If you could speak another language (meaning one you currently don't know), what would it be?

08. What personal belonging do you have with you everywhere you go?
Purse, travelcard, phone, keys!

09. What was your favorite song or musical group when you were young?
Boyzone, clearly! Actually, how young? I was obsessed with Elton John when I was about 9. My favourite song was Crocodile Rock.

10. Are you a risk taker?
Not really.

11. Is being tagged fun?
I don't think I've ever been tagged. How do I know if I've been tagged? Should I have been tagged in order to fill out this meme?! *runs off in a lack-of-LJ-knowledge panic*

12. Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Ideally, with loads of money in early retirement. Realistically, probably still in a job similar to this one and just plodding along...

13. If you could be anyone for one day, who would you be?
Oooh, loads of different people! Rufus, perhaps. Or Jorn ;-p

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
No-one's tagged me (I think), but I nicked this off Lou. Who is lovely.

15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
Single and rich, obviously! ;-p

16. How many children do you want to have, if any?
No thanks.

17. What's better to give or to receive?
Receiving. I'm materialistic ;-p It is nice to give stuff to people too.

18. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
It depends who they were, clearly! That's a stupid question.

19. Would you have 100% safe sex with a stranger for £10,000,000?
That would be prostitution, would it not? So no.

20. Can you think of a question to put instead of the one you just deleted?
My question is: if you had to kill someone, who would it be and how would you do it? (nice and cheery there…)

Friday, July 11th, 2008
12:10 pm
I bet you're sick of hearing about me by now...

Nicked from various peeps...

Which shampoo is in your bathroom right now?:

1) Rayleigh until I was six weeks old

2) Billericay

3) Flat in Preston

4) House in Preston

5) House in Plaistow

6) Flat (corridor) in Cricklewood

7) With Rob in Plaistow.

Hmmm, that's quite a lot.

How many city/towns have you lived in?:
Rayleigh, Billericay, Preston, London.

Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet?:
Why would I want to walk around in bare feet? My feet would get dirty.

Do you like coffee?:

Do you like iced tea?:

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?:
Physically- nose!

Non-physically- probably be less set in a routine and less selfish. In general, less OCD-ish!

Do you know how to play poker?:
I did, but I can't remember.

What were you doing at twelve last night?:

Do you smile a lot?:
No, I constantly get told to cheer up by random strangers.

Do you like flying or driving?:
I like driving now, even though I hated it when I first started learning. Indifferent to flying. Being a passenger that is, I have never flown a plane myself. That would just be foolhardy.

Do you know how to drive a stick shift?:
Is that a gear stick? Then yes, obviously.

Do you wear any jewelry daily?:
My ring, and my watch.

Who got you the jewelry you are currently wearing?:
Ring-my nan, watch- my parents, earrings- I can't really remember but I think it my have been my "Auntie" Nelly (i.e. not a real auntie at all but my nan's partner's mother). Necklace- my parents, I think.

Who is the funniest person you know?:
Paul and Naff are probably the most intentionally funny. But all my friends are funny for different reasons.

How often do you remember your dreams?:
Not often enough, I like remembering my dreams. I did have one a while ago where I intentionally ignored Boris Johnson. Last night, I dreamt I was going into some sort of partnership with Mitch where I would get commission for the number of CDs he sells. This is obviously a direct result of the *actual* partnership he is going into with Rob whereby Rob will get commission for some of the online songs he sells. Or something.

What is your ringtone?:
I Can't Decide by the Scissor Sisters.

Skim, 1%, 2%, or whole milk?:
Semi skimmed. Don't know if that's 1% or 2%, or something completely different.

Are you mad about anything?:
Angry: Not really. Haven't been really angry since Boris got elected.
Mad as in fanatical: Rufus, Doctor Who, Torchwood at the moment.

What time did you go to sleep last night?:
About 11:45pm.

There you go, wasn't that interesting?!

There's two: Body Shop Nettle Oil (smells bloody gorgeous), and Tesco's own apple flavour. I mean, apple scented. You don't eat shampoo.

What are you listening to right now?:
The sound of a call centre.

Do you watch MTV anymore?:
No, I'm on to VH1 Classic now. That's a sure sign of getting old.

How do you feel about your hair?:
It's fine, if a little wonky. Starting to go grey, which is never good. Another sure sign of getting old.

What DVD is in your player right now?:
I never leave anything in my DVD player. But the last thing I watched would have been Spaced series 1.

What side of the bed do you sleep on?:
The right, as the left is completely taken up by Rob's crap.

Do you like roller coasters?:
Yippee!!! Bring em on, baby.

What do your parents look like?:
My mum has been told she looks like a cross between Princess Diana and Margaret Thatcher. My dad looks like my uncle, surprisingly enough. And his dad. Very slightly like Prince Charles, I suppose. He and Mum were meant to be together.

What are your plans for Friday?:
Going to Yates's with work.

Have you ever sat all the way through Gone with the Wind?:

When was the last time you were up all night?:
Probably on the plane to Australia. And from Australia. Can't really stay up all night any more. Christ, I really *am* getting old, aren't I?!

Do you ever think about the price of gasoline?:
Petrol, you damn American survey. Yes, I do, seeing as I have a car n'all.

What is the best thing about winter?:
Christmas. Radiators. Better telly.

How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?:
A bit I suppose, but on the whole I'm fairly open.

Are you currently planning a trip?:
Well, we're supposed to be going to Edinburgh and France at some point in the next couple of months, but the "planning" is a bit hazy at the mo.

Do you know how to play chess?:

What's on your mind right now?:
Not a lot. Work. The mole on my back which wasn't there last week and seems to be getting bigger… hmm.

Do you want to take something back that happened in the last week?:
The stupid argument I had with Rob about what food to cook.

Do you eat a lot of fast food?:
Nope. Occasionally I'll get pizza or Chinese, or something from Kebabish (a bit like a kebab).

Were you happy when you woke up today?:
Indifferent, really. Happy that it's Friday, sad that I had to go to work.

What was the last movie you saw in theaters?:

Do you eat candy on a daily basis?:
No, I make an effort to be healthy.

Does it make you happy to get letters?:
Depends what they are. I like them if they're letters from friends. I don't like them if they're letters from BSM saying that the price of driving lessons has risen *again*.

Walking into a party, what's the first thing you notice?:
Usually the music.

Would you rather have chicken or steak?:

Who was the last person you took a picture of?:
A random man on the tube last night who had a Superman belt on with a business suit. He was stood up and reading a paper while I was sat down directly in front of him, so I could take a picture very discretely. It was hilarious. He had no idea. He looked stupid.

Would you ever donate blood?:

Are there deerheads covering any walls in your house?:
What sort of question is that?!

Have you ever been asked out?:

Have you ever driven without a license?:

Do you wish you had smaller feet?:
Yes, all the time. I hate my feet.

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?:
Have lots of best friends. Probably my closest friends have always been of the same sex, but all of the UCAS crew are my best friends, so yes.

When ordering sushi, what do you get?:
Last time I got veggie. I don't really do the raw fish thing.

Do you write in cursive or in print?:
Cursive. Huge massive cursive that scrawls all over the page.

Who was the last person you sat next to?:
Rob on the tube.

What were you doing at 10am?:

Are you different now than you were six months ago?:
Very different! Six months ago I was still working for Clearstone.

Was yesterday better than today?:
So far, yes.

What month is your birthday in?:

Can you live a day without TV?:
A day? Easy.

When was the last time you saw your dad?: 
Probably at my nan's at some point, March I think.

How many pets do you have?:
Two, lovely kitties, Pixel and Yorkie.

How many houses have you lived in?:
Sunday, June 22nd, 2008
5:07 pm
Alphabet and music meme nicked from Naff
Yes, it *has* taken me this long to think of all the songs.

You know the drill, copy paste etc etc. The idea of this one is to have a fave song for every letter, the kicker is that you cannot use the same band/artist twice (solo vs group projects are allowed). 'The' does NOT count. Begin.

B- Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole- Martha Wainwright
C- Close-cropped- Luxembourg
D- Doctor Who Girl- Mitch Benn
E- Every Day I Love You- Boyzone
F- Friday I'm in Love- The Cure
G- Go or Go Ahead- Rufus Wainwright
H- Hallelujah- Jeff Buckley
I- I Can't Decide- Scissor Sisters
J- Judgement Day- Stephen Gately
K- Keep on Walkin'- Ronan Keating
L- Liquid Lips- Bluetones
M- Mancunian Way- Take That
N- New York, New York- Ryan Adams
O- Offend in Every Way- White Stripes
P- Pop Singer's Fear of the Pollen Count- Divine Comedy
Q- Queen of 1964- Neil Sedaka
R- Radio- The Corrs
S- Sweet Transvestite- Rocky Horror ST
T- Tubthumpin'- Chumbawumba
U- Up the Junction- Squeeze
V- Voodoo Lady- Rudolf Rocker
W- Who Killed Bambi?- Sex Pistols
X- X-Files Theme- Mark Snow
Y- You're My Number One- S Club 7
Z- Zak and Sara- Ben Folds

I cheated a bit on X because it's not actually in my collection... all the rest are. But I don't have any songs beginning with X. I've checked. Sorry.

What a playlist! *Runs off to compile it*
Monday, June 9th, 2008
1:04 pm
Memes. Again.

A 10-years on meme nicked from Lisybabe:

1) How old were you?
THEN: 15
NOW: 25

2) Where did you go to school?
THEN: Mayflower High School in good old Biccerillay with its dusk.
NOW: No school now, sweetie.

3) Where did you work?
THEN: I can't remember, was that my disastrous one day at Papa Pizza?! I think that was later.
NOW: Transport for London.

4) Where did you live?
THEN: Biccerillay with its dusk.
NOW: Plaistow.

5) How was your hairstyle?
THEN: Long and wonky.
NOW: Short and wonky. Actually, it's got quite long again now. I need a haircut.

6) Did you wear braces?

7) Did you wear contacts?
NOW: Yes

8) Did you wear glasses?
NOW: Yes

9) Who was your best friend?
THEN: Marie, Fee, Gemma, Thingy, Shanie
NOW: Fee, Marie and Gemma, probably.

10) Which of your pets was still alive?
THEN: No pets then.
NOW: Pixel and Yorkie.

11) Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend?
THEN: No-one
NOW: Rob

12) Who was your celebrity crush?
THEN: Ronan Keating!!
NOW: Rufus Wainwright, John Barrowman

13) Who was your regular-person crush?
THEN: Didn't really have a proper one.
NOW: Rob (awww)

14) How many piercings did you have?
THEN: 2 (one in each ear)
NOW: Still 2.

15) How many tattoos did you have?
THEN: None
NOW: None

16) What was your favourite band/singer?
THEN: Boyzone!
NOW: Rufus.

17) Had you smoked cigarettes?
NOW: No.

18) Had you got drunk?
NOW: No.

19) Had you DRIVEN?
NOW: Yes

20) If so which car?
THEN: Can't remember, it was at that thing in Barleylands in an automatic and I ROCKED. So I was therefore very surprised when I actually came to drive a proper car.

NOW: Sylvester, black Fiat Punto, and the driving school's car is a Vauxhall Corsa.

21) Looking back are you where you thought you'd be in ten years time?

Not really. I wanted to be a famous writer. I have been published I suppose, which is a start.


Now, I owe Naff a meme as well:

I have to name five songs beginning with "F".

1) Friday I'm in Love- The Cure

Just because it's happy happy and it's the Cure and it's Simon and Porl in bed together in the video, and it's the first song I learned to play on guitar.

2) Father and Son- Boyzone

For obvious reasons

3) Filthy/Gorgeous- Scissor Sisters

Because the Scissors are great and I had to get one of their songs in there. Although, I have to say, Filthy/Gorgeous isn't one of my favourites, but it's still better than a hell of a lot of other rubbish that's out there.

4) Face to Face- Siouxsie and the Banshees

So incredibly slashy, if you listen to the lyrics. If only it was a man singing.

5) A Forest- The Cure

Because of the bassline. And because of the 15-minute long live performances. Superb.

I think you have to respond to this and I give you a letter if you want to do it. Not entirely sure how it works.

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
12:56 pm
Yet another meme...

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
A. Yes.

2) What was your dream growing up?
A. I wanted, at various times, to be a vet, a paleontologist and a famous singer.

3) What talent do you wish you had?
A. Playing the piano effortlessly without spending hours and hours practicing to get it just right.

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
A. Hot chocolate please.

5) Favorite vegetable?
A. Dunno, like loads. Possibly sweetcorn.

6) What was the last book you read?
A. 4 Tragedies and Octavia by Seneca. Currently reading the New Testament and Derren Brown: Tricks of the Mind.

7) What zodiac sign are you?
A. Aries

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
A. Just my ears

9) Worst Habit?
A. Selfishness, being stuck in a routine.

10) If you saw me walking down the street, would you offer me a ride?
A. Of course. If I had passed my test.

11) What is your favorite sport?
A. Uk. Sport. If I had to pick it would be horse racing.

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
A. Far too positive for my own good.

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
A. I'm going to take this as Marie, although Fee has also filled in this meme, I copied it from Marie so I'll use her, as t'were. Erm, what would I do? Probably calm you down, hon! ;-p

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
A. Dunno. Maybe losing my job at Clearstone.

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
A. I have several nicknames, but you knew that.

16) Do you have any pets?
A. Pixel and Yorkie, adorable little kitties.

17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?
A. Invite you in for hot chocolcate and BZ videos!

18) What was your first impression of me?
A. Hmm, I first met you in Brownies, so it would probably have been that you were more geeky than me! Sorry :)

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
A. Scary.

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
A. Nose!!!

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
A. Crime partner! Why on earth would I want to be anyone's conscience? What a horrible job.

22) What color eyes do you have?
A. Blue.

23) Ever been arrested?
A. Certainly not, who do you think I am?

24) Bottle or can soda?
A. Don't drink soda, it gives me a headache.

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
A. Dunno, I'm having enough trouble trying to work out what to do with £20!

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
A. Ben Crouch's.

28) Do you believe in ghosts?
A. Yes.

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
A. Read, watch telly, play piano. It used to be "writing", but I have been incredibly lazy of late and not written anything for a long time.

30) Do you swear a lot?
A. Not overly.

31) Biggest pet peeve?
A. Bad grammar and spelling in magazines, newspapers, leaflets etc.<--- Yup, with you on that! And narrow-minded people.

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
A. Wonky.

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
A. I'm not very romantic, tbh.

35) Do you believe in God?
A. No way.

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008
10:20 pm
Poll without poll
I was going to put a poll in here, but I've just realised you can't do that without getting a paid account. And, seeing as I only ever use LJ to post random things, I'm not going to do that. So, y'all will just have to make the effort and respond by commenting, I'm afraid.

I've been given a £20 Amazon gift voucher by Alison (Rob's sister). Shall I spend it on:

a) an electric guitar tuner
b) a foot pedal for my keyboard
c) a new CD (suggestions of what would be greatly appreciated)
d) a digital camera
e) This
f) some Doctor Who merch
g) Guitar Hero for Playstation
h) some cooking stuff for the kitchen
i) earrings
j) something completely different. Suggestions please.

I realise there's quite a few options to choose from there, so I may have to go to a second round. Much like the Mayoral elections. But don't get me started on them.
Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
7:19 pm
Telly meme nicked from Feebomon
List six of your favourite TV shows and answer the following questions.

1.  Doctor Who
2. Torchwood
3. Life on Mars
4. Ashes to Ashes
5. The Mighty Boosh
6. The League of Gentlemen

(These are not in any order, btw. There's only two comedies in there. That's really bad, isn't it?!).

1. Who is your favourite character from #2?
Captain Jack, clearly.

2. Who is your least favourite character from #4?
I actually find Alex quite annoying, but I think she's supposed to be.

3. What would a crossover between #1 and #5 include?
Heh! Vince being mistaken for a lady and being whisked away in the TARDIS as the Doctor's new assistant. Imagine the sexual tension!!

4.Who is your favourite ship from #6?
LOL! Ross/Pauline!! NOOOO!!! Eugh...

5. If you were to set one person from #3 and one person from #6 on a blind date, who would they be?
I think Sam would get on quite well with Judee!

6. If you could meet one person from #4 and spend the day with them, who would it be, and what would you do?
Gene Hunt. I would sit and make him say insulting things about the modern-day police force so I could laugh at him.

7. If you could change one thing about #2's plotline, what would you change?
Hmmm... well, the plot of Torchwood is extremely silly, as has been previously discussed. I'd probably make the episodes longer, or make them all two-parters, so there'd be room to iron out all the plot-holes, rather than trying to shove as much storyline as possible into a 45 minute episode.

8. Explain a relationship between two people (not necessarily romantic) from show #3, and why you like the relationship between them.
    Well, Sam and Gene's relationship is obviously great, and central to the whole thing. I also quite like the relationship between Chris and Ray, because they're always subtly trying to outdo each other.

9. If the lead title characters (first name in the credits) from #1 and #5 were both drowning, and you could only save one, who would it be?
The Doctor. Sam's great, but a little morose...

10. If you could change the title characters' order in the credits for #6, what order would you choose?
There's no characters in tLoG's credits!

11. If you were able to add a new character, any kind of character you wanted, to the storyline for #4, what would the character be like and what would their role be?
Hmmm... maybe another female for Gene to perve over and give it a sense of competition between her and Alex.

12. What happens in your favourite episode of show #2?
Ooh, not sure about favourite episodes... I missed a load of Series 2 what with being in Australia n'all. I liked the one with the fairies from Series 1, I thought that was very sweet, hit the right chord, and I really liked the old woman.

13. If you could kill off one of the characters of #1, who would it be and how would you do it?
Martha! Is that mean?! I'd have her nailed to a tree. Because she's wooden. D'you see?!  That is quite cruel, isn't it?

14. If you got the chance to visit the set for either show #3 or show #5, which would you choose?
The Boosh, I think. It would probably be more fun than LoM, and I've heard John Simm can be grumpy :-s

15. If you could date anyone from any of these shows, which show and which person?
Characters or actors?! Character-wise, Captain Jack or Vince. Actor-wise, Mark Gatiss or John Barrowman (putting aside the obvious for one moment...) ;-p
Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
10:12 pm
More memes!
I am fast beginning to realise that these are the only posts I am ever likely to make to my LJ. Ah well, so be it.


Let others know a little more about yourself, repost this with your name followed by "ology".


Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
Rufus. The pic from Attitude a few years ago where he's crouching down practically naked wearing a leather harness-type thing. I die a little every time I look at it...

Q. How many televisions do you have in your house?
This house is Rob's. I don't actually know, but I probably couldn't count them all on both hands and feet.


Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Tonsils and two teeth.

Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
Stoopid question! Probably the box of paint and tools when I was putting it away after decorating.

Q. Have you ever been knocked out?
No. Well, unless you count when I had my tonsils out!


Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
I do. The deathclock told me. Although I have forgotten it. I think it was June 22nd, 2056. I may have got that wrong.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

Q. What colour do you think looks best on you?
I really don't know. Fashion to me is like ham to a vegetarian.

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item?
No comment ;-p


Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
Of course!

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
No. Especially as I'm about to get piano lessons.

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
That would be incredibly easy for me. So, yes.

Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
Yuk. No.

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
No. Apart from maybe one person...


Q: What is in your left pocket?
Nothing, it's a dressing gown.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good film?
Never seen it.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
Hardwood in my room and the louge, carpet in the hall, landing, bedroom and Rob's room, lino in the bathroom and tiles in the kitchen.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?

Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
None, flipflops don't fit me.


Q: Last person who texted you?

Q: Last person who called you?
Mum and Dad.

Q: Person you hugged?

Probably Rob, although it may have been Fee and Gemma last night.


Q: Number?

Q: Season?
Summer please.

Q: Colour?


Q: Missing someone?
Not especially.

Q: Mood?
I have pains in my stomach. I'm worried it's my bladder.

Q: Listening to?
The sound of my laptop fan.

Q: Watching?
My computer screen, obviously.

Q: Worrying about?
The pains in my stomach.

Q: Wearing?
Dressing gown and orange nightdress with a teddy bear on the left tit.


Q: First place you went this morning?

Q: What can you not wait to do?

Q: Do you smile often?
Yes, although strangers who come up to me in the street would have me believe otherwise.

Q: Are you a friendly person?
Not particularly.

Current Mood: contemplative
Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
11:26 am
Two memes nicked from Red Scully
Use the first letter of your first name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things - nothing made up. Use different answers if the person in front of you had the same first initial which by the way is hard if you already have read their answers! You cannot use your own name for the boy/girl names."

1. What is your name? Natbat. I mean, Natalie.

2. A 4 letter word: Nuns

3. A vehicle: Nissan Micra

4. A city: Nantes. Is that a city?

5. A boy's name: Nicholas.

6. A girl's name: Natasha

7. Alcoholic drink: Erm... nice booze?!

8. An occupation: Naval officer?!

9. Something you wear: Nothing. In the bath.

10. A celebrity: Natasha Kaplinski

11. A food: Nuts

12. Something found in a bathroom: Natbat. In the bath.

13. Reason for being late: No watch.

14. Something you shout: NO!! Have been known to shout this in the past.

15. An animal: Nanny goat

16. A body part: NOSE!!

17. Word to describe yourself: Nice. I think.

Random procrastination -

1. Where is your mobile phone? On my shelf in my room.

2. Your significant other? Rob.

3. Your hair? What about it? It's brown. And fairly short atm.

4. Your mother? Linda

5. Your father? Lynne (seriously)

6. Your favourite thing? Chocolate! Money. Friendship. Not necessarily in that order.

7. Your dream last night? Something about meeting my parents to take me away somewhere. The mental asylum, probably.

8. Your favourite drink? Hot chocolate. Or juice.

9. Your dream/goal? To earn enough money to retire really early and be a lady of leisure *all* the time!

10. The room you're in? My room.

11. Your ex? No ex.

12. Your fear? Losing everyone close to me.

13. Where do you want to be in 6 years?  Why six years?! Still in London, earning loadsa dosh.

14. Where were you last night? Home with Rob and Fee.

15. What you're not? An astronaut? in Moldova? A gooseberry? On boats? There's lots of things I'm not.

16. Muffins? Again, what about them? They is yummy.

17. One of your wish list items? A new hoover. I'm so domesticated.

18. Where you grew up? Good old Biccerillay with its dusk.

19. The last thing you did? Typed the word "dusk".

20. What are you wearing? Flowery skirt, a t-shirt I bought in Edinburgh and a grey jumper.

21. Your TV? What about it?! The one in the front room is HUGE.

22. Your pets? Two adorable kitties who I love to bits, Pixel and Yorkie.

23. Your computer? Sony Vaio laptop called Rose.

24. Your life? Is busy atm

25. Your mood? Happy. Determined. Relaxed.

26. Missing someone? I always miss my friends when I'm not with them

27. Your car? Sylvester, black Fiat Puntio

28. Something you're not wearing? Erm... a pink lycra shell suit? A swimming costume? A black bin liner? Again, many things I'm not wearing.

29. Favourite Store? HMV

30. Your summer? BOYZONE!!! Well, technically that's not quite summer, but it's my highlight so far.

31. Like someone? Loads of people :-)

32. Your favourite color? Blue

33. When is the last time you laughed? At Marie's answer to this question, Margs being stalked by tampons!

34. Last time you cried? Can't remember. Probably watching Doctor Who or something equally pathetic!

Current Mood: happy
Thursday, March 20th, 2008
4:26 pm
The World of Work
Look, I am posting on my LJ!! Are you all proud of me?! (Don't think this is a regular thing, btw. It's not).

So anyway, here's what happened today.

12 noon: went for an interview at Courier Exchange, a freight exchange website for Transport Managers who have fleets of vans. Treked all the way to White City thinking, "I'm not really fussed about this job", got there, the place reminded me so much of Clearstone that I fell for it instantly. They were so impressed with me that they offered me the job straight away. Lovely people, seemed really nice. Arranged to start Tuesday.

1:30pm: Phoned Rob and Mum and Dad to tell them the good news.

1:45pm: Got a call from Transport for London to offer me a job starting on 28th April. Oh shit. DILEMMA! Told bloke I'd get back to him by the end of the day, and he gave me his direct line number.

2pm- 2:45pm: Panicked. Phoned ex-boss, response = Courier Exchange, because the job sounds more interesting and I'm less likely to get bored. Phoned Rob. Response = TFL because the benefits are better and it's more secure. Phoned Mum and Dad. Response = TFL for the same reasons. Phoned Debs. Response = TFL for similar reasons, and on the basis that it would be easy for me to get other interviews if I really hated it because it's on a shift pattern. So, 3 against 1 for TFL.

2:45pm: Phoned TFL back to confirm I would be starting. Got bloke's voicemail. Left message.

3:15pm: Tried him again. Still got VM.

3:45pm: Tried him again. Left another message telling him I needed to hear from before the end of the day, because I had to tell Courier Exchange I wouldn't be working for them before they went away for the Easter weekend.

4pm: Still no response from TFL bloke, so I emailed Courier Exchange saying I'd got another job and would not be starting on Tuesday (yeah, I know, I chickened out of phoning them. How crap of me).

4:15pm: STILL no response, so I phoned round various different TFL numbers until I found someone who could put me through to HR. Spoke to a woman who told me that Jacob (bloke who called me this afternoon) had been out training all afternoon. SO WHY DID HE GIVE ME HIS FECKING DIRECT LINE NUMBER THEN?! Asked woman if there was anyone else I could speak to about the job details, and just to confirm I would be starting. Nope. I explained to woman about the situation with Courier Exchange (didn't mention I'd already emailed them), and she just said "oh". HOW CAN AN ORGANISATION AS BIG AS TFL ONLY HAVE ONE PERSON TO DO THEIR HR?! She mentioned he might be back after 6pm. Great help. When everyone else has gone home.

So, now I am left having turned down Courier Exchange's job, not knowing whether I've definitely got the TFL one. I shouldn't think it would be a problem, but I now have to wait all weekend (probably, as who in their right mind goes back into the office after 6pm?!) to know the details of it and get it confirmed. Huh.

Current Mood: frustrated
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